Realistically speaking, I'm up right now due to a long chain of reasons that boils down to me being afraid. Being afraid gets me to ignore responsibilities, which relieves me of early compromises, which allows me stay up late carefree, which ruins my sleeping habit. Why must everything worthwhile require an amount of effort? Do I really have to practice the piano daily for about a year to get the hang of it? Is it really necessary to dedicate yourself to anything? These sound like lame questions out of a self-help book, but I really find myself subconsciously asking them. What's worse, though, is I find them ridiculous to even suffice as legitimate questions. For some reason, I truly think I know the answer to these and find myself in this situation due to mere laziness.
I guess one thing that helps people do things is some sort of instinctive need to be useful. Beyond survival, humanity continues striving. As far as I can tell, nobody even reads this blog, yet I still brought myself to update it again. Maybe this post itself was just a goal-less ramble with nothing to really express. Then again, it's now 4:42 and I haven't seen my psychologist in possibly a month now. Among many things, time is something I haven't been keeping track of. Oh well--something to fix, I reckon.
If I do manage to consistently update this thing on a fair frequency, I'll make sure to include songs/pieces with them from now on. This's entry's inclusion will be the famous introitus and Kyrie of Mozart's Requiem:
